1st Draft – Journey Of A Novel

Take two

Tanya V 26 March 2022

I had a realisation about my first draft that came with a wave of relief – I’m done!!

I’d had in my mind that I needed to write more, two chapters perhaps, to follow the ancient tale that I’ve taken the story structure from. To do that though I’d be paying lip service to the architecture of the narrative rather than writing the story as it needs to be with the underpinning structure sitting in the background as support for what I have written. Having the storyline to keep me on track has definitely kept me from looping into creative angst where I sat paralysed within the scope of my imagination unable to write the words because I couldn’t commit to what happened next.

For me, in reference to my creative process at least, there has been freedom within structure.

So my protagonist has reached the end of their journey; the circle is complete.

Today I am beginning the process of second draft writing. Some chapters will need more work than others with all chapters needing to be revisited. I’ve already created a file with notes on the work needed including changing the structure to create flow from one chapter to another, the idea behind this is to give the whole novel rhythm. Other major points of focus for the second draft are imagery and themes being woven together and carried throughout the piece. Also, there’s the task of throwing away words which will be hard but needs to be done.

I’m feeling a little shell-shocked to have reached this stage and beginning to explore the reality of publishing. It’s still a while off but I am one step closer, closer than I have ever been before, and that feels good. My publishing plans are non-committal meaning that if I have options to publish then great, if not, then I’ll do it myself for myself. I’ve chosen to write this novel because it’s good for my soul to do so, or heart and mind, or self, or whatever works to best refer to that inner need for self expression.

Handling shi(f)t

Tanya V 27 February 2022

I wrote about 500 words more since I last posted. Not a lot but still it is written and I’m happy with it. The chapter that I am writing has passed on to the next part; I had found it difficult to process where I am at in the story. Initially I had planned for this to be the last chapter, but that was long ago before I could envision where my words would lead me and now I find that I will need to write another chapter or two beyond this one to tell the tale.
The circle is almost complete in terms of the heroes’ journey formula with my character taking fresh steps on a trodden path with new insights. With that I have been mindful of capturing the change along with the familiarity and hope that I can do this idea justice.
Next is the ‘anticlimax’ for ‘final challenge’ where my protagonist will confirm above all else the change within by demonstrating innate change within their world. I want this to be more of an internal recognition; I want the protagonist to quietly surprise themselves with the change that they demonstrate. The best way that I can think to do this is by demonstrating an emotional shift in reaction to the world about them. An enactment of them handling their shi(f)t without the need for an external reference point.
The closer I get to the end the more keen I become to return to the start with fresh eyes after having written so many words since I began. There is a cohesiveness that I plan to weave through with imagery and themes and ideas. If I can pull off what I have in mind I’ll be happy with the result and that will be very satisfying indeed.

The things that make up reality

Tanya V 23 January 2022

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been inching my way through the current chapter stitching together a transition between who my protagonist was and who they are becoming with a changing landscape that reflects their changed state of mind. The landscape is the same … but different.

The person likewise is the same, but different.

It’s more than perspective because there is real change and this has been part of the challenge of writing this chapter for me. I want to demonstrate change in such a way that it’s subtle rather that having a sharp shift in reality.

I’m working through the point of return to self for my protagonist on their hero’s journey so I want to capture the return of something familiar along with demonstrating the change that has occurred. There’s an intangibility about the things that make up reality that I’m finding challenging to capture – I like a challenge though.

The story is set in a different time period from the one that we live in now, nevertheless I’m writing my way through a human experience that we all have. In our time it most likely equates with that feeling when you are almost home. When it’s the last leg of the journey and everything that felt far away feels so close once again. You know, when you’re in the car, about 20 minutes away after travelling already for 2 hours or more, when you’ve been away from home for a week or more. You’re close enough to home to feel as if you’re already there but still far enough away to only be experiencing an idealised version of reality in your mind?
That’s where I’m at.

The next chapter

Tanya V 8 January 2022

I’ve reached the next chapter. It’s such a big statement for me to make, I’m nearing the end of the first draft, the protagonist is closer to the end of their journey, change is recognised and letting go of what was is in play. This all applies to my creative process as much as to the narrative itself. I’m reflecting on what I’ve written, what has happened and how I got from there to here with the objective now being how to tie it all together.

How do I want it to end?

At the beginning of this process I would have asked myself that question with the intention of answering it and having practical steps to follow that achieved exactly what I intended. I know better now though.

How I want it to end versus how it ends will likely be two very different things.

I’ve come to enjoy this uncertainty. I’ve come to understand that there is no point wasting valuable time in speculation, I’ve realised through practice that I can only find out what I’ll write through writing.

It all seems fairly simple and logical but previous to this documented and (mostly) regular writing process I’d taken a lot of time and effort thinking through what, how, why, etc without achieving anything but a flair for cultivating angst.

Recognising myself in this process, my anxieties, the second guessing, my failings and susceptibility to the human condition have all become a handy reference point for content development. A main point of focus for this project has always been that it is a story about anyone and everyone – a story about being human. As I’ve written through the past year I’ve come to embrace my humanness more and more relishing the insights that I’ve gained in translating the human experience by acknowledging my own.

Themes, imagery and the spaces in between

Tanya V 28 December 2021

I have read back over and made a few adjustments but I’m nearly done with another chapter. It was a good chapter to write with some ideas that I’d thought about a lot but never written previously. There was some back and forth of ideas that I’d not considered that happened as the words appeared.

A main scene in the chapter belongs to three characters which had me thinking and writing in such a way that I hadn’t before. The writing of it took this three handed scene in a direction that I’d not considered causing me to create gaps that I filled after rereading then rereading again to make further adjustments and fill in those gaps.

I kept returning to it after thinking it over in much the same way that I do in real life when I think I should of said/done/thought such and such a thing at the time. The difference between writing the scene and real life though is that I could shape it as best I can with hind sight stepping into real time to guide the interactions.

Writing this chapter has also had me reflecting on the background, bigger picture, undercurrents and sustained elements that are the story travelling along through the narrative accompanying the action and words. To map this and create a consistency that I am happy with I’ve created a new file to map the chapters which includes lists of imagery, themes and other elements that inhabit the spaces in between the happenings.

The wrapping up of the story is about to begin. To tidy up the details I’ll have to write one chapter, then another for the climax and resolution. How all this will work I don’t know until I write it. So when I am done with this chapter I have at least two more to write, of course that could change though.

The work that I have to do is becoming clearer the closer I get to the end of the first draft. There’s a lot of work still to be done, work that I want to get started on, work that is the next level from where I’m at, but first I need to finish up draft number one.

Back in the saddle again

Tanya V 28 November 2021

For over a month now I’ve had plans to write, to get writing and to keep on writing but life got in the way. Nevertheless I followed through tonight and got another 1000 words written.

When I revisited where I had left off I was surprised to find that I had written more than I remembered, and I was happy with what I read over before I started writing again. The flow that I had been in when I wrote before had been good and the ‘all downhill from here’ feeling came back along with a satisfied smile.

The 1000 words that I wrote are for chapter 8.5, well that is what it is called for now while I push on through the last happenings of the narrative to wrap up the chapters. My original plan was for 9 chapters but through the writing of them I began to think it will be 11 chapters for the first draft, and may even make it to 13 chapters or so by the time I finish with the next draft.

Chapter 8.5 is the spilling over of chapter 8 into a new self contained set of scenes that needed to be included in more detail than I had anticipated. On the cycle of the hero’s journey formula this chapter is the hero’s return in a personal sense for the protagonist as they come face to face with the embodiment of who they had been asked to be and who they had failed at being. Beyond this it is also the return to a point of their life where they were a victim and now return as a victor ready to save another from a certain fate, but having to come to realise that all must take their own path regardless of suffering.

Having saved themselves the protagonist hopes to save another but instead comes to terms with the fact that they can only be their own hero and must leave others to also be a hero to themselves and become triumphant in their own lives.

Chapter 8.5 most likely will become chapter 9, I’ll leave the number as 8.5 for now to save confusion chopping and changing numbers along the way. Once I have written to the end and can see what I have to work with I will do a number reshuffle of all chapters.

Meetings of old and new

Tanya V 6 October 2021

At the midpoint of the current chapter there is a pause to stop in the past going back to what was, to where that place exists, to facing the past by speaking to the people there. Some characters are still there living as they had been and diminished by the powerlessness they submit to in a world where there is no room for exploration, others have been ignited by recognising the limits to push beyond and are ready to shrug off identities that no longer serve like heavy winter coats on a summer’s day. New characters have appeared here also, and when the protagonist meets them they are able to see more clearly who they were compared to who they have become, and the bullet they have dodged by moving on – although I am writing about a time when no bullets existed so, of course this metaphor will not apply within the novel itself.

A sense of letting go, getting on with it and moving on accompanies a path of exploration into an unknown that previously had been so unknowable that it was inconceivable. This tangent into an unrealised reality has revealed an aspect of the protagonist’s character that provides comfort and an acceptance of constant change within the self and the world around them. Old structures have been uprooted in the recognition of this inner shift, stories of identity have been let go and depth of self has been recognised allowing for a sense of freedom rather than being bogged down by constraints that no longer serve any purpose. The change in the protagonist is recognisable by other characters who want to inhabit that change for themselves but cannot because they must seek their own change, so must seek out their own true character.

There’s different kinds of epiphanies, big ones are most notable but they also come as smaller moments that ultimately have a big affect on the individual. The protagonist has had a few already as they’ve journeyed through the narrative seeking out things that never came to be. With each unrealised goal a realisation of different sorts has emerged from the experience. Given that these moments were born out of a lack of knowledge of the self they were bigger, different, and new experiences of the self for the protagonist. As I write into the last chapters the protagonist’s sense of self grows and the ‘new’ becomes less surprising. The superficiality of change has crept below the surface and the protagonist has settled into the discovery of their depths with a backtrack over old ground on the journey into the new, which serves to highlight the change that has occurred within against the backdrop of an unchanged landscape. The tale that I have chosen for the bones of the story fits the hero’s journey model as many ancient tales do; the hero is now transiting the return, or return to self.

Crowded thoughts

Tanya V 8 September 2021

I had some sad moments writing the part that I’m working through when I wrote about the protagonist being in a busy marketplace with a diverse crowd where there is the buzz of humanity all around going about their lives while standing shoulder to shoulder. I miss crowds. To get the feel of it I really had to stretch my mind back to think of different experiences I’ve had in life where there has been a large, busy crowd caught up in the everydayness of life with everyday worries.

The crowd served as an essential element, a character made up of endless characters if you like, that provided contrast and a point of comparison between the masses and the individual.

The story has had many twists and turns but with the new chapter that I’ve written 1000 words towards so far the protagonist is off in a new direction altogether. A sense of self and realisations from a different perspective have allowed for a new course of action and a literal new course through the world by navigating in unexplored territory.

This section is a turning point in the story where the finer details are unclear as yet so I am focusing on the happenings as they happen by writing through the bigger, more obvious elements. With the end of a first draft novel in sight I am becoming blasé about writing the detail and more concerned with churning out the content. It’s a shift in gears for my approach to the process that I’ve been developing since the beginning of the year. At first I began struggling to get beyond perfecting a point, a scene or an idea then moved beyond that to writing through with the narrative playing out and have progressed to laying down the bones. I’m still writing as much as I was when I sit down and do the work but my mindset has certainly changed.

There’s still chapters – plural – to write before I can claim to have completed a first draft novel but with the end so near I feel like I’m running down hill with the result being my focus has become covering ground rather than contemplating each step.

Before I am even there I have begun to plan how I will shape the second draft and even pondered a third draft. Beyond that I don’t know, and coming back to well before that, it’s back to work with the end in sight.

From telling to showing and beyond

Tanya V 22 August 2021

My original outline of chapters was nine in total, I now expect to write eleven at least, perhaps more. The extra breathing space that I was looking for in the process of writing and the clearer vision of the story that I’m telling, I have found in doing the work. More time and focus would be even better but hey, I’m just learning when it comes to writing a book.

Chapter eight is coming into view along with strengthening themes. With the conclusion of the novel coming into sight the story ground that has been covered is marked with the imprints of themes that have emerged in the wake of the protagonist’s movement throughout. Factoring in the themes that over arc the narrative was one of the considerations that I circled over in my mind for years. I wanted to figure out how to do justice to the themes and how to capture these ideas with imagery; when sitting down to write I’d get hung up on an idealised version of the outcome. Working through each chapter in turn, as I have for this first draft, has taken away the frozen moments where I sat awaiting the perfect words that would serve the story on every level from telling to showing and beyond.

The closer I get to the end the more I think about the earlier chapters. I want to revisit them and bring them into line with the story that my novel has become. Even with this though I still don’t have a clear vision of how it will end, or even the lead up to the end. The bones of the story are there but the details will be revealed to me when I write them.

For most of the story the protagonist has travelled into the unknown with little direction and few people met along the way. The last chapters veer from this course driven by a new found certainty that the protagonist has connected with. The journey through the pages has no extra information on the path that should be followed but the experiences from preceding chapters have brought to light things previously hidden as choices available. There is still a way to go but I am coming full circle in my thinking about the narrative and again wanting to make it funny, make it fun, make it real.

The story type is the hero’s journey formula which brings together the beginning and end as it circles back on itself.

At the beginning I wondered how I could add humour.

At the beginning the story was about someone who knew themselves and their world, or thought that they did. Nearing the end, they have begun to recognise themselves again. The humour that I want to use is to capture the sense of fun that comes with knowing who you are and laughing because something is funny even when no-one else thinks so.

Observations

Tanya V 10 August 2021

Chapter seven is 4000 plus words done of the 5000 words I’ve planned to write, so the finish line is in sight. This chapter has always been a rough sketch in my mind that lacked the narrative articulation of some previous parts that I’ve worked through. Up until this chapter the protagonist has been experiencing gradual growth and development within themselves, and has been unaware of the fundamental change that this causes within them. Chapter seven is the character becoming aware of the change that is happening and recognising that they can make choices to participate in this change. I’m trying to capture the realisation that I expect everyone goes through at some point when they understand that something big is happening within them that they can’t explain or reference but only observe as a point of change.

I have found this difficult to write; when I tried to push through by writing more and more I became frustrated so I stepped back from the keyboard and took a lot of long walks where time and space allowed me to think through what the actual point of this chapter is. This chapter has caused me to stop and take stock of where I’m at and where I’m heading story-wise. The long walks have served their purpose by providing perspective. I walk and observe the world around me, myself within it, nature, the ‘vibe’ and step back from my thoughts to make room for what is beyond thought. I’ve managed to get out of my head by literally walking away from overthinking. This has facilitated descriptive writing that I have used to ‘set the scene’, provided real-time perspectives on people to consider when writing character, and been helpful for processing the world through new eyes which I require of my protagonist to demonstrate transformation.

The protagonist has reached a point in the story where other people’s influence has fallen away as it never had before, leaving space in their mind beyond reacting and responding. They are able to be alone with themselves without being inundated by thoughts that are triggers instigated by others, to be alone with themselves, to connect with their potential and realise that they can exist without outside influence. I have come to understand that this chapter is not about testing boundaries as previous chapters have been in different ways, but about discovering boundaries set by and for the self.

I keep pushing to the front of my mind that I am writing the first draft so can refine, refine, improve and polish when the time comes, but I really want to lay a solid foundation for profound yet potentially elusive personal evolution of character in a realistic way. It’s part of the human experience, we all have our aha moments, many that happen without us identifying them until later in life. It can be a little voice, a shift in our way of being, ‘growing-up’, or a change that comes about because some old structure falls away leaving room for a self deep within who’d had no space for growth. Either way, in the present moment or in reflection we observe ourselves and that is what I’m attempting to write without it being a big moment that feels forced.