1st Draft – Page 3 – Journey Of A Novel

Writing in reverse

Tanya V 10 May 2021

Chapter five, first draft has had me muddling through and scratching my head so far. This chapter includes events that cause my protagonist to step into the unknown with no direction in mind. Previously the risks that they took were aimed at an outcome but within chapter five things do not work out, direction is lost, and rational thinking gives way to emotion. How this plays out is what I have to decide. When rationality is lost that does not necessarily mean that someone is irrational, when emotions drive a decision that does not mean that the decision is illogical. Tempering reason and emotion into human expression is the tricky part here. The turning of events that this chapter culminates in effects a few of the characters including the protagonist so I have a situation to realise that involves diverse motivations.

I am undecided as yet about how exactly this chapter will read. I’m tempted to capture a ‘what just happened there?’ feel as can happen to any of us when swept up in emotional situations. I’ve been musing on making it a something-for-everyone section where the weight of circumstances is spread evenly amongst the characters so all ‘sides’ can be experienced. Also, I’ve been mixing and matching what I have written over time in the past trying to determine where the strength of the writing lies then to edit the story into being accordingly.

3000 words have been culled so far and the narrative organised from the overlapping writings from the past. There is still just under 13000 in the file that is chapter five, draft one so far meaning that another 5000 plus words need to be dispensed with to make the chapter a manageable 5000 words. Getting rid of sections of writing has taken time as I have shifted them about in the file copying and pasting to see how they read in part in different positions within the story. Some have been repetitive so to select and delete was the obvious answer, others captured a feel very different from the majority of the words that I intend to keep. Click and drag to select then delete, save to update and move on; that’s the rhythm that set in as I have puzzled my way through the bulk of writing coming and going from the work in an effort to keep a fresh perspective. With less words I have a clearer view of what I’m working with, but I still am struggling with the feel and details of the chapter. There’s enough to work with to select a focal point, I have enough to chop and change and skew things to present the story in different ways.

The whittling down of words feels like writing in reverse, to bring it all together I think that I’ll have to get the word count down to 4000 words at most then write new words to solidify the chapter as one piece.

Slow and steady is the winning pace

Tanya V 29 April 2021

My role has changed from writer to editor with over 16000 words written towards the chapter that I’m working on. With a 5000 word wordcount being my goal for each chapter I have quite a bit of work to do. This large word count of 16000 words has been accumulated over the past 10 plus years, it is not in order, is not all in the same mood or tone, or even following exactly the same narrative. I expect to throw away a lot of sections, some I may use in the preceding or following chapters. Sifting through this collection of pieces that make up the chapter content to date has been a big task.

Reading through my past writing I have read sections I’d forgotten that I’d written, which has been a nice surprise at times. The volume of words read together capture my changing attitude towards, and hopes for, the novel over the years that I have been writing it.

Having such a variety of pieces all on the same part provides me with different perspectives that I hope to work together to create depth in the narrative at this point of the story – In writing so much I’ve given myself choices, which I hadn’t planned on doing. There has been a complete turn around on the protagonist’s attitude in some parts, and relationships between the characters have varied greatly over time. My plan of attack is to take the best of it all and make it one piece.

I’ve read through what I have then stepped back to digest it, then read it again. Slowly I am gaining an image of the happenings that I can edit these pieces into being, with new writing too of course. With so much writing to work with I plan to continue to read and reread it while gradually editing it into a whole.

The fact that I had written so many words seemed like such a big plus when I first realised but since I have begun working through the work, I am frustrated that I don’t have a clearer picture in mind. Having so many words it seems logical that I would be familiar with this section and ready to bang it out without too much effort. The more that I work through the words though the more I realise that I kept writing and rewriting to address my lack of clarity.

Slow and steady is the winning pace! I have a rough sketch of a first draft of my novel with nine chapters in mind so with this being chapter five I’m almost past the halfway mark. I will work through this chapter making it work as a first draft as best I can, then it should be down hill to the end from there.

Chapter four first draft – Done!

Tanya V 23 April 2021

It reads well, I made the transition that I wanted to in the narrative taking my protagonist on a journey of physical struggle that confirms their mental resolve to keep going in the direction that they chose. Chapter four took the protagonist on a journey through the world where they travelled alone creating a parallel inward journey.

Other characters need to be introduced now. Chapter four had the introduction of one new character, but it was a meeting of few words. Chapter five will have the introduction of some major players in the narrative moving forward into the story, so chapter four was just a warm-up exercise of what chapter five will present as challenges.

The protagonist begins chapter five full of hope, ready to embrace change and harbouring a naivete that is a left over from their past. For the protagonist chapter five is meant to be the happily ever after chapter where they can settle into life, but life has other plans.

The characters that the protagonist comes to know in chapter five challenge their way of thinking and perspective, and conversely the protagonist challenges those that they meet. All these differences are a mark of each individual’s character causing all concerned to dig their heels in. A lot will unfold, important things will happen, but I want to write it as matter-o-fact. Big things happen in life for all of us and a lot of the time it’s not until later that we realise the significance of happenings in our lives. That’s what chapter five is about, big decisions, big reactions, big moves. Responses and reactions in life tell us about who we are and show us who those around us are. Important events can lift a veil that we didn’t know was there and this is the underlying driver in chapter five.

Some of the big events may spill over into chapter six, the writing of this chapter will reveal if I need to spread out the narrative to cover more ground; I certainly don’t want to cram things into one chapter for convenience. The story needs room to breathe and unfold.

The next few chapters I have written parts of in the past and I will work these pieces of writing in with new work as I go. Working in this way is slow at times as I stop and start to accommodate what I want to include along with what I newly create. It’s helpful for me to keep this in mind as the slow progress can be hard to push through at times but I have found the results, being how much work I get done, worth it.

A wee epiphany

Tanya V 17 April 2021

I dropped the ball there for a few days but not for lack of trying to keep it in play. No excuses, just the facts, I’ve been busy with other things. Time for writing has become sparse, it is not non-existent though. I have written, I’ve crossed the halfway mark in chapter four nearing 3000 words. The pressure of less time made my last sitting to write seem easier than the ones before. In the meantime my challenges writing this chapter have been playing on my mind causing me to have a wee epiphany. I kept cycling over where I was up to and what I had written and kept thinking that I had missed something. Then it came to me. Motivation, my protagonist’s drive that is beyond words. The unspoken subtext, thoughts, comparisons, and the self-referencing that all of us experience, that forces our hand in life. Why does anybody do anything? Because they can is a likely answer but there are many other unfathomable reasons as to why choices are made. Personal, subconscious and determined by an individual’s origins.

With this in mind I went back over what I had written in chapter four to date and added symbolism, imagery and small happenings that addressed ‘the why’ or motivation in an indirect way. The subtext is as important as the text.

I didn’t add big sections or seek to make the profound out of the simple. I wanted to weave an extra thread through the fabric of the story to bring it all together as a whole piece. My intention was to stick with the ‘less is more’ ethos but it did need a little more.

A new character has been introduced to the story and the protagonist which is a turning point that foreshadows what is to come. Writing that I had done previously on this moment of meeting has worked in nicely with what I have newly written in. Leading up to this new character has taken the protagonist, along with my imagination, into a new realm of the story. The gears are shifting in my creative process.

The next few chapters have large sections already written that I will pull apart to re-edit in with new work. This is playing on my mind as a distraction; anticipating what is to come detracts from where I am at. Knowing this is helpful to acknowledge when I am distracted jumping ahead with ideas and maybes instead of being focused.

So back to keeping the ball in play.

I’ve got to keep my mind on the ball and my eye on the game, or something like that.

I don’t know anything

Tanya V 9 April 2021

A new character is about to be introduced into the story. This character is one that I have been musing over for a long time. I feel like I know them, and I don’t like this character very much. Approaching this section feels like preparing to go and spend time with people that I don’t particularly like, part of me has switched off to prepare for the experience. I’m trying not to have a fixed mindset, to be open-minded, to let go of preconceived notions; it’s difficult. My response is emotional, it’s deep-seated and I just have to get over it and shake it off.

As much as I can I want to write whole characters that have depth my characters don’t always have a lot of time on the page so capturing authenticity of character when they are introduced into the story is important. People and characters don’t have to be likeable to be of value and being hard to like does not make someone a bad person. I’ll press through to let my character be who and what they will using the world around me to observe and hopefully learn from watching without expectation or judgement.

Knowing that this character is on the horizon is perhaps one reason that I’ve dragged my feet through chapter four. The more ground that I cover, the closer I am to writing this part. One thing that chronicling my creative process here has taught me though is that the angst is worse than the practise. Avoidance is based in uncertainty and I can’t be certain until I just do it. (…get over it, shake it off, just do it – I’m on fire with the catch phrases and slogans tonight…)

Writing through chapter four has progressed more. I have written another section making my way to the halfway point. The story points that I wanted to address to get to where I am in chapter four had been larger in my mind. I thought that they would take up more space on the page and in the story. The ideas that I had about this have baulked me at times when I sit and stare at the page wondering what to add, thinking to myself that surely there must be more. Then I snap out of it realising that the story is what is important not the word count, and that I’m working on a work in progress. That’s key for me to acknowledge, it’s in progress, things change, it needs room to grow, and I should proceed into the unknown to make it known.

Preconceived notions cause feet dragging. With that piece of knowledge kicking around in the front of my mind I’m going to spend the next day relaxing into a state of aware open-mindedness. I don’t know anything, I need to observe, I will allow the unexpected to occur. That’s where I want my head to be as I proceed so that I can write as much or as little as I need and also let a new character grow beyond my narrow-minded view.

Creating reality one question at a time

Tanya V 5 April 2021

The narrative in the part of chapter four that I’m writing is sparse. The section is based on a folklore tale that has lots of sketchy detail and imagery that is far from reality. How much weight in reality my novel has is something that I have struggled with in the past. It has previously tripped me up and stopped me from getting into writing. What is reality anyway? How “real” does a story need to be? Is truth stranger than fiction? In reality people believe in ghosts, some cultures honour their ancestors as if they still live, and people build their beliefs and values on things that they cannot see, touch or experience. When is something far-fetched? Does it matter? Can I write questions forever without ever answering any of them? All these questions and more plagued me for a long time but then I came to accept that none of the questions have to matter.

The world is made up of individuals who have unique experiences and are able to identify with others based on the shared experience of the human condition. That is my understanding and logic of what reality is, and based on it I no longer struggled over the idea of reality within the context of my novel and writing my novel began. I need to be clear about what I’m writing and not lost in the peripheral variables of the unknown.

So, I decided to skirt along the edge of reality making things questionable with the use of language and imagery. Just like life it may be hard to determine at times what is real or what is a vision. There are points where reality shifts through personal realisations and the world looks different. Characters will grow and change and transform in ways they could not foresee. People will face challenges that provoke a response in them that they would not otherwise have had causing transformation in both inner and outer worlds.

I’m still chugging through chapter four making progress but not at the speed I want. There’s been demands on my time and distractions taking my focus away from my novel but I am still writing regularly. That’s my resolve; even if I don’t have the blocks of time that I want to apply to writing I will still write with regularity, and I am doing this. I’ve added another 200 words which is not as many a I’d like but they read well for first draft work. The last few days I have been off track from my list so I’m back onto it with at least an hour writing each day at the top of my list. Research is up to date with this section so the writing of it is what needs to be done. Time for me to get real and get writing.

From one place to another

Tanya V 2 April 2021

Writing about landscapes… how they change, what’s different about them, what’s the same about them, how they connect and morph from one to the other. What lives there, how does life survive, how much imagery is needed to reveal the place, what details create a vista for the reader… there are a few considerations. There’s so much to consider when writing about places yet now that I’m getting into it there seems to be so few words to describe these same, but different elements. Traversing different landscapes with a feel for how they connect to one another takes a lot of focus. It’s left me contemplating what makes a place.

Chapter four takes my protagonist through a changing landscape into a harsh one and then onto a new land that is unknown. These places serve a purpose symbolically relating to the folklore tale as well as being the places where the story happens. In writing about them I want to capture what each place means as well as what each place is, which is tricky at times. The challenge is to not overwrite things for the sake of writing in what I want to convey thematically along with what is happening. As a solution I’ll write less and let some of the underlying points of story that I hoped to touch on slip by lightly with little emphasis on them. Making a point of every little thing will come across as heavy-handed if the reasoning is not clear to the reader; it may even come across as just plain confusing.

To move forward I’ll tread lightly through the story that underlies and place attention on what’s happening. I want the focus on actions to lead the reader through the story with the subtext providing a subtle richness that isn’t essential to understand the journey of the protagonist. Much like life really, we comprehend so much without ever fully understanding everything.

Another 1000 words have gotten me to this point in chapter four but at 1500 words in total this chapter I still have a way to go before I’m into the rhythm of it. Making the decision to let the storytelling elements that speak to the subconscious fall into the background where they belong has been an aha moment for me. I don’t have to craft things to the point where they are forced, I can let the words and action within the narrative have some breathing space. With this thought in mind writing many places has felt easier. It’s as if by giving myself space to work within, without so many elements intentionally worked in, I’ve also created space to stop and look around at the places that I’m creating in the story.

The big to-do

Tanya V 31 March 2021

A checklist has helped me to keep on track so far and I’ve written another 500 words for chapter four. When I got going it flowed but the going’s slow working through sections of story to integrate past writing with new. In this chapter I want to capture a new world and show my protagonist’s ability to change and grow with the world around them. To show how they roll with the punches and survive in the unknown without a helping hand; this chapter serves as a coming-of-age period in some respects.

Writing over the past few days with no clear vision in mind about what exactly I would write started to be a chore and I became intimidated by the idea of writing. It shouldn’t have been though. I overcame this by breaking the work into sections to write about in turn which made writing manageable for me. Navigating to this point has established a clear working model for me to write my novel. The next few chapters will benefit from the knowledge that I’ve gained so far with writing this WIP. The current chapter covers time progressively in a more precise way than preceding chapters, and chapters five and six introduce more characters. To continue working consistently through the different points of focus within these chapters I’ll have to keep breaking down the story into manageable parts while giving myself time to reflect, research, and then write.

Thinking through multiple sections at once or projecting forward to where I’m going is too much when it’s not clear in my mind. This has become a problem for me lately; I’ve struggled and avoided and puzzled over what and how which has taken my focus away from creativity to how to best manage myself. The progress that I’ve made has become about more than just writing a novel, I’ve made some real inroads in addressing how I approach and deal with challenges. This isn’t all new to me, I’ve faced challenges before and completed many tasks, but I’ve never completed anything that is my own project without a client or a class to teach or a cast to direct or a qualification to complete. In the past I’ve always had some sort of requirement to facilitate for others, which I do like doing and this may be why it’s never been an issue.

So back to lists which work so well for me that I’ll continue to make a simple list as I need to for structuring and navigating the task. To complete projects in the past I used lists as a response to time management rather than for structuring and motivation.

To do list:

Read previously written work for chapter four
Add new writing to prewritten work in chapter four
Research folklore tale details
Write without stopping for at least one hour today
Write without stopping for at least one hour tomorrow

Feeling confused and researching camels

Tanya V 28 March 2021

It’s been slow going this week. Getting started has been a challenge for me with lots of distractions and an unclear vision in my mind of what’s next. I wrote 500 words to kick off chapter four and begin my protagonists’ journey through the chapter but I’ve faltered there. This chapter is an introspective chapter for my protagonist, for me to capture this I need to have clear symbolism and connecting elements travelling through the undercurrent of my writing to bring it all together. What the chapter ‘needs’ though I really can’t determine until I get into the writing; I have to get writing. The clear vision that carried me through chapter three though isn’t available to me for this chapter; chapter three was more directly based on a folklore tale whereas with chapter four I’m using very little of that approach.

Chapter four only gives a nod to the folklore tale leaving me to navigate the narrative and integrate my own writing in as I go. Along with this I’ve also written over 5000 words in previous writing bouts towards this section, so I’m reading and sifting and cataloguing in my mind what to do, where to put parts and how to proceed.

Sections that I have written for this chapter previously could be used in chapter seven which in some respects is the inverse of chapter four and the protagonists’ journey through it. Thinking about this takes my mind away from chapter four scattering my attention across the novel, its chapters, where I am at, where I’m heading, then again, I circle back in my mind to thinking – get writing! This all leaves me experiencing a state of confusion which my natural response to is avoidance, but I’m onto this fact and side-stepping avoidance as best I can because I have proved to myself so far that I respond well to time to think in a deliberate way about how to next proceed. With this in mind when I feel the fuzzy edges of confusion creeping in, I make a list of tasks – my current list is:

Read previously written work for chapter four and seven
Add new writing to pre-written work in chapter four
Research deserts
Research Camels
Write without stopping for at least one hour today
Write without stopping for at least one hour tomorrow

Having a clear vision of where I’m going is essential to me, without it a sense of hopelessness overwhelms and I’m lost to indecisiveness.

I’m reminding myself that I have already had periods where I don’t write, I regroup and then there’s an outpouring of words when my vision is clear. Processing time is important, I need to take the time to think it all through and then the words catch up on the page when I dive back into the flow.

Through chapter four my protagonist is finding their way into the unknown, and again as with previous chapters, the irony of me being in the same headspace isn’t lost on me.

Taking my time

Tanya V 23 March 2021

At almost 4000 words I’ve finished the first draft of chapter three. I’m on fire and trying not to jinx myself with reality checks about if this is sustainable. The pattern of going back to the folklore tale when I reach the next ‘bit’, along with time to think through where I’m at and visualise the happenings is really working for me. Writing this chapter has been enjoyable; I’ve had fun and think that I managed to include a tongue-in-cheek sense of fun in the writing of it. Internet use has stayed at a minimum also. I’ve gotten so much written in the last few days.

For the rest of the week I will have to step back a bit from this pattern, I have work to do, people relying on me and life in general to attend to. Working the way I have been has taken me out of any constructive patterns in my everyday life but that seems to be the trade-off that I need to make. When my protagonist gains some ground, I tend to lose some and vice versa.

Each chapter that I’m writing is a distinctive part of the pre-biblical tale I’m using, each chapter is from different tales about the same character that I’m melding together as one narrative. The next incarnation of this character for chapter four I have written toward in the past. I’ll revisit my previous writing for this section to edit into new parts that I write. There’s some sections that I wrote years ago, I reread them a few months ago and it still reads ok so I’ll use it. I’m looking forward to seeing how it all comes together.

With the momentum that I’ve gained in the last week one aspect that I really like is that I’m curious to see what I come up with. Yes, I have plans and notes and ideas but creativity, for me at least, is about the unknown. Discovering the unknown in my own project is a buzz. The gaps in my writing before, and the disjointed approach that I applied didn’t provide the opportunity for the flow of work that I’ve tapped into. Working in that way before meant that I didn’t continue into the unknown or conversely at times I only wrote in a deliberate way with detailed plans. Working as I have been, I do both interchangeably as needed to serve my story and it works really well. The one ingredient needed for this though is time; I need stretches of time to get lost in my work.

Years ago I read A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf, at the time it really resonated with me but now it does more so. I really get the time and space factor that is essential for work to be done now that I’ve made some real headway.

**Note to self – TAKE TIME TO WRITE!! – Don’t make time to write, it’s not the same…