Journey of a Novel – Page 5 – Journey Of A Novel

I don’t know anything

Tanya V 9 April 2021

A new character is about to be introduced into the story. This character is one that I have been musing over for a long time. I feel like I know them, and I don’t like this character very much. Approaching this section feels like preparing to go and spend time with people that I don’t particularly like, part of me has switched off to prepare for the experience. I’m trying not to have a fixed mindset, to be open-minded, to let go of preconceived notions; it’s difficult. My response is emotional, it’s deep-seated and I just have to get over it and shake it off.

As much as I can I want to write whole characters that have depth my characters don’t always have a lot of time on the page so capturing authenticity of character when they are introduced into the story is important. People and characters don’t have to be likeable to be of value and being hard to like does not make someone a bad person. I’ll press through to let my character be who and what they will using the world around me to observe and hopefully learn from watching without expectation or judgement.

Knowing that this character is on the horizon is perhaps one reason that I’ve dragged my feet through chapter four. The more ground that I cover, the closer I am to writing this part. One thing that chronicling my creative process here has taught me though is that the angst is worse than the practise. Avoidance is based in uncertainty and I can’t be certain until I just do it. (…get over it, shake it off, just do it – I’m on fire with the catch phrases and slogans tonight…)

Writing through chapter four has progressed more. I have written another section making my way to the halfway point. The story points that I wanted to address to get to where I am in chapter four had been larger in my mind. I thought that they would take up more space on the page and in the story. The ideas that I had about this have baulked me at times when I sit and stare at the page wondering what to add, thinking to myself that surely there must be more. Then I snap out of it realising that the story is what is important not the word count, and that I’m working on a work in progress. That’s key for me to acknowledge, it’s in progress, things change, it needs room to grow, and I should proceed into the unknown to make it known.

Preconceived notions cause feet dragging. With that piece of knowledge kicking around in the front of my mind I’m going to spend the next day relaxing into a state of aware open-mindedness. I don’t know anything, I need to observe, I will allow the unexpected to occur. That’s where I want my head to be as I proceed so that I can write as much or as little as I need and also let a new character grow beyond my narrow-minded view.

Creating reality one question at a time

Tanya V 5 April 2021

The narrative in the part of chapter four that I’m writing is sparse. The section is based on a folklore tale that has lots of sketchy detail and imagery that is far from reality. How much weight in reality my novel has is something that I have struggled with in the past. It has previously tripped me up and stopped me from getting into writing. What is reality anyway? How “real” does a story need to be? Is truth stranger than fiction? In reality people believe in ghosts, some cultures honour their ancestors as if they still live, and people build their beliefs and values on things that they cannot see, touch or experience. When is something far-fetched? Does it matter? Can I write questions forever without ever answering any of them? All these questions and more plagued me for a long time but then I came to accept that none of the questions have to matter.

The world is made up of individuals who have unique experiences and are able to identify with others based on the shared experience of the human condition. That is my understanding and logic of what reality is, and based on it I no longer struggled over the idea of reality within the context of my novel and writing my novel began. I need to be clear about what I’m writing and not lost in the peripheral variables of the unknown.

So, I decided to skirt along the edge of reality making things questionable with the use of language and imagery. Just like life it may be hard to determine at times what is real or what is a vision. There are points where reality shifts through personal realisations and the world looks different. Characters will grow and change and transform in ways they could not foresee. People will face challenges that provoke a response in them that they would not otherwise have had causing transformation in both inner and outer worlds.

I’m still chugging through chapter four making progress but not at the speed I want. There’s been demands on my time and distractions taking my focus away from my novel but I am still writing regularly. That’s my resolve; even if I don’t have the blocks of time that I want to apply to writing I will still write with regularity, and I am doing this. I’ve added another 200 words which is not as many a I’d like but they read well for first draft work. The last few days I have been off track from my list so I’m back onto it with at least an hour writing each day at the top of my list. Research is up to date with this section so the writing of it is what needs to be done. Time for me to get real and get writing.

From one place to another

Tanya V 2 April 2021

Writing about landscapes… how they change, what’s different about them, what’s the same about them, how they connect and morph from one to the other. What lives there, how does life survive, how much imagery is needed to reveal the place, what details create a vista for the reader… there are a few considerations. There’s so much to consider when writing about places yet now that I’m getting into it there seems to be so few words to describe these same, but different elements. Traversing different landscapes with a feel for how they connect to one another takes a lot of focus. It’s left me contemplating what makes a place.

Chapter four takes my protagonist through a changing landscape into a harsh one and then onto a new land that is unknown. These places serve a purpose symbolically relating to the folklore tale as well as being the places where the story happens. In writing about them I want to capture what each place means as well as what each place is, which is tricky at times. The challenge is to not overwrite things for the sake of writing in what I want to convey thematically along with what is happening. As a solution I’ll write less and let some of the underlying points of story that I hoped to touch on slip by lightly with little emphasis on them. Making a point of every little thing will come across as heavy-handed if the reasoning is not clear to the reader; it may even come across as just plain confusing.

To move forward I’ll tread lightly through the story that underlies and place attention on what’s happening. I want the focus on actions to lead the reader through the story with the subtext providing a subtle richness that isn’t essential to understand the journey of the protagonist. Much like life really, we comprehend so much without ever fully understanding everything.

Another 1000 words have gotten me to this point in chapter four but at 1500 words in total this chapter I still have a way to go before I’m into the rhythm of it. Making the decision to let the storytelling elements that speak to the subconscious fall into the background where they belong has been an aha moment for me. I don’t have to craft things to the point where they are forced, I can let the words and action within the narrative have some breathing space. With this thought in mind writing many places has felt easier. It’s as if by giving myself space to work within, without so many elements intentionally worked in, I’ve also created space to stop and look around at the places that I’m creating in the story.

The big to-do

Tanya V 31 March 2021

A checklist has helped me to keep on track so far and I’ve written another 500 words for chapter four. When I got going it flowed but the going’s slow working through sections of story to integrate past writing with new. In this chapter I want to capture a new world and show my protagonist’s ability to change and grow with the world around them. To show how they roll with the punches and survive in the unknown without a helping hand; this chapter serves as a coming-of-age period in some respects.

Writing over the past few days with no clear vision in mind about what exactly I would write started to be a chore and I became intimidated by the idea of writing. It shouldn’t have been though. I overcame this by breaking the work into sections to write about in turn which made writing manageable for me. Navigating to this point has established a clear working model for me to write my novel. The next few chapters will benefit from the knowledge that I’ve gained so far with writing this WIP. The current chapter covers time progressively in a more precise way than preceding chapters, and chapters five and six introduce more characters. To continue working consistently through the different points of focus within these chapters I’ll have to keep breaking down the story into manageable parts while giving myself time to reflect, research, and then write.

Thinking through multiple sections at once or projecting forward to where I’m going is too much when it’s not clear in my mind. This has become a problem for me lately; I’ve struggled and avoided and puzzled over what and how which has taken my focus away from creativity to how to best manage myself. The progress that I’ve made has become about more than just writing a novel, I’ve made some real inroads in addressing how I approach and deal with challenges. This isn’t all new to me, I’ve faced challenges before and completed many tasks, but I’ve never completed anything that is my own project without a client or a class to teach or a cast to direct or a qualification to complete. In the past I’ve always had some sort of requirement to facilitate for others, which I do like doing and this may be why it’s never been an issue.

So back to lists which work so well for me that I’ll continue to make a simple list as I need to for structuring and navigating the task. To complete projects in the past I used lists as a response to time management rather than for structuring and motivation.

To do list:

Read previously written work for chapter four
Add new writing to prewritten work in chapter four
Research folklore tale details
Write without stopping for at least one hour today
Write without stopping for at least one hour tomorrow

Feeling confused and researching camels

Tanya V 28 March 2021

It’s been slow going this week. Getting started has been a challenge for me with lots of distractions and an unclear vision in my mind of what’s next. I wrote 500 words to kick off chapter four and begin my protagonists’ journey through the chapter but I’ve faltered there. This chapter is an introspective chapter for my protagonist, for me to capture this I need to have clear symbolism and connecting elements travelling through the undercurrent of my writing to bring it all together. What the chapter ‘needs’ though I really can’t determine until I get into the writing; I have to get writing. The clear vision that carried me through chapter three though isn’t available to me for this chapter; chapter three was more directly based on a folklore tale whereas with chapter four I’m using very little of that approach.

Chapter four only gives a nod to the folklore tale leaving me to navigate the narrative and integrate my own writing in as I go. Along with this I’ve also written over 5000 words in previous writing bouts towards this section, so I’m reading and sifting and cataloguing in my mind what to do, where to put parts and how to proceed.

Sections that I have written for this chapter previously could be used in chapter seven which in some respects is the inverse of chapter four and the protagonists’ journey through it. Thinking about this takes my mind away from chapter four scattering my attention across the novel, its chapters, where I am at, where I’m heading, then again, I circle back in my mind to thinking – get writing! This all leaves me experiencing a state of confusion which my natural response to is avoidance, but I’m onto this fact and side-stepping avoidance as best I can because I have proved to myself so far that I respond well to time to think in a deliberate way about how to next proceed. With this in mind when I feel the fuzzy edges of confusion creeping in, I make a list of tasks – my current list is:

Read previously written work for chapter four and seven
Add new writing to pre-written work in chapter four
Research deserts
Research Camels
Write without stopping for at least one hour today
Write without stopping for at least one hour tomorrow

Having a clear vision of where I’m going is essential to me, without it a sense of hopelessness overwhelms and I’m lost to indecisiveness.

I’m reminding myself that I have already had periods where I don’t write, I regroup and then there’s an outpouring of words when my vision is clear. Processing time is important, I need to take the time to think it all through and then the words catch up on the page when I dive back into the flow.

Through chapter four my protagonist is finding their way into the unknown, and again as with previous chapters, the irony of me being in the same headspace isn’t lost on me.

Taking my time

Tanya V 23 March 2021

At almost 4000 words I’ve finished the first draft of chapter three. I’m on fire and trying not to jinx myself with reality checks about if this is sustainable. The pattern of going back to the folklore tale when I reach the next ‘bit’, along with time to think through where I’m at and visualise the happenings is really working for me. Writing this chapter has been enjoyable; I’ve had fun and think that I managed to include a tongue-in-cheek sense of fun in the writing of it. Internet use has stayed at a minimum also. I’ve gotten so much written in the last few days.

For the rest of the week I will have to step back a bit from this pattern, I have work to do, people relying on me and life in general to attend to. Working the way I have been has taken me out of any constructive patterns in my everyday life but that seems to be the trade-off that I need to make. When my protagonist gains some ground, I tend to lose some and vice versa.

Each chapter that I’m writing is a distinctive part of the pre-biblical tale I’m using, each chapter is from different tales about the same character that I’m melding together as one narrative. The next incarnation of this character for chapter four I have written toward in the past. I’ll revisit my previous writing for this section to edit into new parts that I write. There’s some sections that I wrote years ago, I reread them a few months ago and it still reads ok so I’ll use it. I’m looking forward to seeing how it all comes together.

With the momentum that I’ve gained in the last week one aspect that I really like is that I’m curious to see what I come up with. Yes, I have plans and notes and ideas but creativity, for me at least, is about the unknown. Discovering the unknown in my own project is a buzz. The gaps in my writing before, and the disjointed approach that I applied didn’t provide the opportunity for the flow of work that I’ve tapped into. Working in that way before meant that I didn’t continue into the unknown or conversely at times I only wrote in a deliberate way with detailed plans. Working as I have been, I do both interchangeably as needed to serve my story and it works really well. The one ingredient needed for this though is time; I need stretches of time to get lost in my work.

Years ago I read A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf, at the time it really resonated with me but now it does more so. I really get the time and space factor that is essential for work to be done now that I’ve made some real headway.

**Note to self – TAKE TIME TO WRITE!! – Don’t make time to write, it’s not the same…

Goodbye chapter two

Tanya V 22 March 2021

I finished the first draft of chapter two. It’s done, I sent it to my reader, it’s shorter than I intended at 3700 words or so but to write anymore would have been unnecessary. The story rolled on giving me the sensation of it writing itself which is an expression that I’ve heard but never experienced firsthand. Next I want to dive into chapter three. Most of chapter three is clear in my head but I do need to tidy up some details with reading and research before I get lost in the words. Chapter three will introduce another new character, and like chapter two will also be fresh writing with nothing previously written towards it. Whether it flows as easily as chapter two remains to be seen, if it happens though I welcome the happy buzz that I’ve gotten from polishing off chapter two’s first draft.

Finishing chapter two so quickly has surprised me, but I have had more time to focus because I’ve had my internet off for most of the week. Every time that I used the internet in the past week, I intentionally turned it on then turned it off when I was done, and I’ve had more headspace and focus because of this.

The research that I’ve done this week required internet, also posting and reading latest posts of accounts that I follow on wordpress were internet sessions, along with emailing. That’s it though, no social media, no time guzzling youtube watching frenzies, and no rabbit holes of random information. The internet for the last week has been a tool for information and communication and nothing else. My imagination has become my entertainment. I’ve had breaks in my time too with old movies that I have on file, I’ve seen all of the films I have many times before which makes them the equivalent of a battered favourite childhood book. I’m bored of them very quickly and tend to only watch parts of those films. My only other distractions have been tending my small garden and walks in the park. Thinking through my story at times I’ve also inexplicably found myself cleaning my drains and sorting my sock drawer; mundane tasks help me when I have a mind full of thoughts. Life isn’t always this way for me, but I have less distractions from the outside world right now, the only distractions at hand come with scrolling online so I put a stop to it.

The result has been surprising. I don’t know if it’s realistic to give full credit to less internet being the biggest motivator, but it has certainly made a difference to me. I tend to spend a lot of time online looking for information of all sorts – I’m a self-confessed information junky for better or worse. In structure freedom can be found, this is a regular reminder that I give myself. It may not work for everyone but for me it certainly helps me to have limits to work freely within.

On a roll

Tanya V 21 March 2021

3000 words in two days, I think that I’m on a roll! My aim is for 5000 words per chapter, so in two days I’ve written over half of the first draft of chapter two.

I’ve been getting to know my protagonist as they begin their journey. The sketchy ideas I had in mind are gaining clarity with each word that I write. I focused on one key question – who are any of us without other people?

There’s only so far that any one person can go alone before limitations and lack of perception stand in their way. That’s the pivotal point that I’ve addressed in chapter two. My protagonist has gone into the world not knowing anyone, not knowing their way or their options. My protagonist is alone for the first time but all the while coming to terms with the fact that they always have been alone.

The main idea addressed throughout chapter two is trust; trust in others which denotes self-trust. Without the world at large and other people the exploration of trust would be a hard idea to demonstrate. The happenings in this chapter serve to provide some inner direction as well as outer direction within the world for my protagonist to carry forward as they discover the unknown.

Traditional stories are rich with archetypes that serve as markers on the journey through life, and with chapter two I’ve begun to work in the first of the archetypal characters from the folklore tale. Based on my recent research into the tale that is at the heart of my novel I have decided to write in this character. Getting to know this character has been enlightening in that a new perspective on my protagonist has been revealed to me. I’ve established depth that I had wanted to work in but hadn’t before perceived how to do that. Part of what is working for me here as that this character doesn’t have a lot to say and doesn’t do a whole lot, yet they make a big impression upon my protagonist by giving them a reason to trust. Writing this character has become about what they don’t say, what little they do say, and of course what they do; this new character serves to bring to light what my protagonist was previously unable to perceive from their sheltered existence.

Along with creating momentum for my process I’ve also gotten into a rhythm of saving and backing up which I was slipping at previously. Things are travelling along well at present, and ideally this will be the working model that I will take with me into the future. Of course I wouldn’t have arrived here without time to reflect on how to move forward so I’m mindful of the ebb and flow that makes up the creative process.

Chapter two begins

Tanya V 20 March 2021

The groundwork has been established for chapter two, my protagonist is in forward motion and things are happening in my fictional world. It was difficult to get going, I did dither.

For the past week I’ve been shuffling through the chronology of my story in my head disagreeing with my decisions, disputing myself, and trying not to have reason-based conversations with myself out loud so I don’t appear cra cra… I was repeatedly cycling over points contemplating on how to best proceed with different scenarios in mind. I went back to the beginning in the end which helped me to reassess why I had made the choices about the narrative that I had long ago. This was all helpful, but gradually my process descended into a procrastination exercise.

Recognising this I came at it from a different angle and launched into research of the original folklore tale that I am using as the bones of the novel; this was very helpful. I was able to step out of my head and get off the merry-go-round of maybes that was plaguing my progress. I still have some more reading to do to solidify the direction that I’ve chosen to go in, but I was inspired to write before I could complete all of the reading that I’d assigned myself.

It felt so good to get back to writing.

Reading the research in parts is a more practical approach for me as it keeps the information fresh in my head. I find that when I do large amounts of research, I lose detail. To remedy this I keep notes in my chapter document to include certain points, I bullet point them below where I am writing and work them in as I progress. Over the years I have read lots about my chosen folklore tale so I’m familiar with most versions of it from different times and civilisations, but I’m less familiar with the version referenced in chapter two. New ground is being broken in terms of how I view my novel; for so long I thought that I knew what it would be but now I’m mixing it up and feeling good about it.

The decision that I made about my narrative and what will happen in chapter two requires a lot of new writing. The writing that I have done over the years towards my novel worked for a lot of chapter one’s content, and will for many subsequent chapters, but chapter two is all new. I’m excited to be writing fresh again, reworking past work into chapter one became tedious at times so it feels good to have a break from that approach for chapter two.

Into the unknown

Tanya V 13 March 2021

What will happen next? No matter what I’m doing my story remains present in my mind like a demanding child pestering me for attention asking what next, or which way. I’ve hesitated at starting on chapter two, I had to revisit the structure of the chapters that I’d laid out before I began the first draft of chapter one. The direction that chapter one took me in with the narrative structure has caused me to now go back and consider reshuffling the order of some of the chapters.

All of this is consuming my thoughts, I want to get back to writing.

My progress has been reading and research, the writing flow has halted making me feel stuck. The irony of being fixed on a point that requires choice about the direction that I’ll take isn’t lost on me, I’m causing my protagonist to wait in the same manner. My protagonist has more than one transitional period in the novel that takes them through an introspective period of change. To write through these turning points in the narrative I can interchangeably use different sections that I’ve fleshed out in reference to the different versions of the tale that my story is based on. I want these mythical foundations to serve to highlight the human experience, I want to take the fantastical and make it an everyday experience.

Regardless of the choice that I make to move forward into the narrative I will be moving into the unknown as much as my protagonist on their journey. I’ve been digesting this and doing my best to integrate my human response into the humanity that I’m trying to capture. It’s scary going into the unknown whether it’s a physical place or not.

To confirm my decision I’ve been re-reading the folklore that I’ve used as the bones for my story, I want to keep doing this at the beginning of each chapter to capture the same over all feel in all of the chapters.

Re-reading, thinking, being with the story to give it time to gestate; all of this has broken the rhythm that I established with writing chapter one. I miss being in the middle of writing, I want to be back in the thick of words that I need to get out because I know what’s happening next. When I tried to dive in and just get to writing though it was a frustrating exercise that left me confused. Taking the time to understand where I’m headed is essential for me to progress, I need the clarity. Learning to enjoy the respite is part of my creative process that I have to learn to embrace.