1st chapter – Journey Of A Novel

A new way of being

Tanya V 12 February 2024

It has been months since my last post. I haven’t stopped writing in this time but I have failed to write regularly and with intention.

My progress has been hap hazard. I’ve felt lost after reaching a writing milestone for myself with having my work assessed. Life has travelled alongside my creative journey with an equal measure of unfamiliarity. I have settled into a new region, a new life, a new way of being and within that have worked at establishing connections to create some structure in my days that includes writing.

I joined a writer’s group, connected with a local writing organisation and started teaching creative writing again, and have created a rhythm in my day to day existence that includes time for writing. I have completed the 5^th draft of some chapters and begun the 6^th draft process. Part of this is rewriting, adding and deleting to improve the narrative; in doing this I have made chapter 1 into 2 chapters and finished redrafting chapter 3. I submitted the new draft of chapter 3 to my writer’s group for feedback today. We meet in March so I have to wait until then for their responses.

One thing that I have missed more than I expected to up to this point is journaling my journey. I have missed the solace of taking stock of where I am at, where I am going, and how far I have come. Before this practice and without this practice my creativity stalls in a frozen moment of uncertainty that seems to have more staying power than my creative ambitions.

The journey of my novel has become as valuable to me as the novel itself.

The peace of mind that I take from keeping up to date with my creativity in a structured way has inspired me to make it a project all it’s own and grow Journey of a Novel into it’s own website. To what end??? I don’t know, but it feels good. It feels right. Bottom line – It is another solid step towards commitment to my creative development.

A good start

Tanya V 10 March 2023

Chapter one is taking on a new shape. I’ve been pulling it apart, rearranging the narrative, deleting, deleting, deleting and writing new words. The beginning is no longer the beginning. Re-reading the last draft with feedback in hand I can now see where the story starts. It’s not at the beginning but soon after it. The start of the story within the novel is an awakening, or ‘the call to adventure’ as it is written the hero’s journey story formula.

It’s not so much a call in the case of my story, it’s more a motivating force in a new direction because of things beyond the protagonist’s control.

So the journey begins.

Changing the sequence of events for the start of the story in chapter one has created a flashback of sorts to establish the beginning, or perhaps more precisely, ‘the known world’. These changes have opened up the story to let the reader in rather than sitting on the sidelines of a once-upon-a-time type scenario.

At least this is what I’m doing my best to craft with words on a page.

The process for this has been to work my way through chapter one cutting and pasting to rework the narrative into the order needed to facilitate the new story-line. Along the way I have written in new parts to flesh out the story where it is needed, and I’ve colour highlighted areas that I think are still questionable, or need more, or could be shifted again.

I keep bingeing the task then stepping away to mull over where I’m at and what I’ve done and why.

I’m looking forward to having chapter one re-done so that I can read it through with a fresh perspective on the novel. The remaining chapters don’t seem to need the same amount of attention.

It’s a good start.

The tip of my tongue

Tanya V 15 February 2023

When lost in conversation, listening, sharing ideas and swept up in the momentum of back and forth I can have moments when the thing that I want to say, to share and express, is there at the edge of my mind but no longer fully formed. It was brimming in my mind not a moment before, but then wavers beyond my focus, and I have to wait because it will return. It’s on the tip of my tongue.

Wait, what was I going to say? Oh I just had it!

I smirk at the fact that the words I had formed in my mouth ready to speak are gone. I wait and let go of the need to speak and shake my head. The words will return when I stop searching my mind for them.

It happens to us all.

This same thing is happening to me now with my 4th draft.

It’s the first chapter that has me coming to my keyboard, pausing and looking off into space with purpose as if the words will appear there.

The beginning needs to be reworked. I have moved forward bit by bit making decisions for the start of the story to be stronger, imagery to be more on point, the character better introduced, and researched points to add. This is structural and detail though, the writing of it is challenging me.

Words elude me when I sit to write, I have a snapshot in my mind rather than a scene playing out.

So, the same as when the words are on the tip of my tongue I will wait for the scene to form clearly in my mind.

Tense about tense

Tanya V 10 March 2021

I’ve managed to delete about 500 words to bring the chapter one word count below 5,000 words. It feels good to have done it, it was easier to delete words than I thought it would be and it highlighted the story by removing what served only as fluff. Reading through to cull words and sentences as a task though is a challenging exercise because it’s difficult to be mindful of the flow at the same time. There are sections that need more attention regarding the flow of the story. Less is more is a great rule that serves to bring what’s important into the foreground. I want the story to speak to the imagination and carry the reader along effortlessly. Whether I can do this or not will be in the reading of it by another which is the next step when I put this first draft of chapter one aside.

Time has been eaten away so easily when I read back through my work. It was a worthwhile exercise; I have rewritten some sentences to better convey the story and without these read-throughs I wouldn’t have managed to do that.

There are so many things that I could continue to fuss over that would keep my attention fixed on chapter one for another week to a month. There is character, symbolism, doubling up of language, and the tense. The tense has been doing my head in. The story passes through a large stretch of time already. The whole story is told in the past, and it begins in the past, but steps into focused points of time for some parts, which are still in the past, but more immediate… So many pasts in one story. This shifting of time does serve the purpose of relaying a time lost, a questionable time, a timelessness that is part of this tale. Keeping track of the tenses has made me tense in real time, it eats up a lot of my focus.

For now I’m more interested in getting the story onto the page than making it perfect. Chapter one is ready for some fresh eyes to read it, so I’ll pass it onto a friend who has volunteered to read for me. I’m very lucky to have had this offer, I only expect to get another’s insight and feedback. If feedback includes editing, tense and/or story notes then that is even more of a bonus for me. Really, whatever my friend wants to contribute re: reading I’m grateful for their input. A new perspective on my work will be very welcome.

I’m ready to move on to chapter two.

Too many words

Tanya V 7 March 2021

I’ve sifted through all of the sections that I had in my chapter one file, edited them in together and created a flow of narrative with them.

The feel of it is makeshift at best but it serves its purpose to take the fragments of story that I’ve been writing and bring them together as one. If a simile could be applied, it would be like a broken vase hastily glued together to resemble the vase it once was. I can see the shape more clearly now of the story that I’ve only had glimpses of in my mind for so long. It has surprised me how much of the story I hadn’t included when I’d written in fits and starts because it makes sense to me to write the narrative in the way that I am now.

My aim has been to make each chapter a tidy 5000 words. I’m currently over 5000 words and haven’t finished the chapter. I’ve written all the way to the end of the chapter but provided no segue to the next chapter so I have some more to write before I can leave chapter one behind. With all of this in mind I think that my word count will be closer to 6000 words, I am expecting to edit heavily when I do a serious second draft though.

There are points of the narrative that I am still circling over in the plot where I have written more than I need to. Working through story points has left me feeling dizzy at times dodging back and forth through the words and having little ability to clearly address too many words when my focus has been locked onto how the narrative reads as a flowing story. I will cull some of these points of the story that stand out to me as too much before I move onto chapter two. It feels right to go back and address these areas, I am hesitant though because I love words, there are too many words for this reason. I’ve over-written some of these parts also because I am creating a turning point in the story, or a crucial moment of some type, something that I want to be significant where lots of words seemingly give the story a physical weight on the page.

With chapter two well in sight I’m mindful of not rushing into it, I want to be able to read and digest the work that I have done on chapter one. I want chapter one to be the most progress made on my WIP with clear insights into what I have done and what I have created to work in regard to the whole novel.

Making progress

Tanya V 4 March 2021

It’s turned out to be really fun writing today taking an adventure back through ground already covered. I had the sensation of reminiscing through an old photo album with memories coming alive and new insights with what I know now. I covered a lot of ground connecting words written at different times in different places from prompts over the years. The outcome was good, the work I’ve put in previously is useful and I’m pleased. When I read back over this writing in the past the disconnection between pieces had bothered me, I wondered if I wasted a lot of time on words that don’t matter. The tone is different in some parts, others have a different narrative POV, some was written in a different tense. Over the years I’ve written whatever I felt like writing at the time, or with whatever method I was teaching for the session with no regard for the larger piece coming together. Of course I can’t use all these as they were written but I have been surprised how I can marry together words written in very different pieces.

Restructuring sections into new writing creates a depth that I would’ve had to contemplate for longer if writing only fresh words now. There are parts that I had forgotten that I’d written and other parts that I’d written more than once, which provide a variety of perspectives on scenes, reactions, motivations and story.

The word count for the chapter one document is nearly 10,000 words. I’m depositing sections of writing at the end of the document by copying and pasting them their as I pick through and scavenge from my past work. Some parts I’ve already flagged to consider for other chapters because they work better with the development that I’ve done this past month restructuring the narrative. Other parts I’ve slotted at the end because I have taken what I need, I’m just keeping them there in case I have use for them while I work on the chapter. The writing to keep as chapter one is nearing 5,000 words which is too many, more words will have to be culled before I can move on beyond chapter one.

There’s a real sense of being on the home stretch for this chapter, what that means in terms of how many days, I don’t know. What I do know is that the end is in sight for chapter one – first draft. Chapter two is on my mind. The focus remains on chapter one though, I’m only allowing details of chapter two to creep into my mind with regards to where I am going to connect the chapters together.

Notes from an idealist

Tanya V 3 March 2021

Well today has been a real test for my focus and progress. I’ve had good news and bad which has distracted me in ways that I found difficult to navigate. Life demanded my attention and time just when I had committed to getting down to some writing. The decision to write today was difficult because yesterday gave me a preview of the day I had today in some respects, I was already distracted, then more happened. Writing about real world obstacles here is unavoidable if I am to authentically document my creative process, because the real world can and does get in the way of anything and everything, not only the task of writing.

I had to take a different approach to my process without the luxury of a block of time. For an hour early in the day I wrote around a piece written a while ago anchoring it into the sea of words that I am accumulating. Then life happened. Later I returned to copy and paste sections into place to edit in when my focus was better, continuing from there tomorrow is the plan.

What I did complete was worth the effort, I did enough work to make progress. It’s the attention to my work that’s bothering me. I didn’t feel present, I didn’t give the best of me, my head and my heart were elsewhere. This is the learning for me in all of this – how to find balance and how to apply structure to my process. I have done that somewhat so I should feel good about it, but I find myself sighing a lot, that ‘want it, but can’t have it’ sigh of the unattainable.

One conclusion that I have made from the past couple of days is that navigating two worlds, between my writing and the everyday, will continue to bring up this problem of distraction despite my best efforts and planning. It’s not so much that my time was taken up, that’s part of life, I’m bothered by the fact that I lost my rhythm for the flow. The rush has dimmed and I want it back, but I have to get real and accept that with balance and structure it will return as surely as it will leave again at points in the future.

Keeping an eye on the wordcount

Tanya V 25 February 2021

The working model of my novel is broken into nine chapters that I plan to make approximately 5000 words each. This may change as I progress, but I like the breakdown of story parts and piecing together of the protagonist’s journey into the sections that I’ve mapped so far. Writing the first chapter is slow progress with the establishment of so many things that will carry through until the end of the novel. If I get this right it will give my work substance and allow for the characters that have depth and dimension. If I get this right I will craft a story that I’m happy with. I want to write something that other people will enjoy but bottom line – I want to be happy with it.

The research that I’m working in to lay the foundations for the overarching story has caused me to go back and write in some more where I had moved on from last week. Again I have cut and pasted, re-written and shuffled around the order of paragraphs. Another thing that I’ve done quite a bit of is take sentences from paragraphs and put them elsewhere to give another paragraph more connection to the story-line. I’m starting to like this process and flag parts in my mind as I write in new sections that at times don’t quite fit yet. Going back I often find that I have found the perfect spot for parts that I wasn’t certain of moving from where I had created them in the story-line, and it works well.

I’ve written 2800 words that I’m happy to keep for now, the document has 6500 words, so there’s quite a few words there that I haven’t factored in yet. About 2000 of those words are at the end of the document waiting patiently for me to reach that part of the chapter. I keep writing more so I’m trying to be mindful of not rewriting from scratch because I do have material to work with. It’s tempting to get swept away with writing, but the words that I already have written serve as a good reference for where I’m at and where I’m going.

Research and writing

Tanya V 24 February 2021

The pace of writing has slowed down but not the pace of the process. To continue writing with a flow I need to sort out theme and symbolism to carry through the piece, and to give myself a heads-up for clarity moving forward. It’s not that every little part of the novel has to be planned in advance, but I do need a clear direction to head in.

Writing with a flow again is in sight but I’m not quite there yet. I’m keen to get back to it but each time I sit to write I think about another ‘bit’ that I need to research because it directly relates from where I’m at and to where I’m going. When I have a clear view of what I’m writing I do it calmly and get a lot done, when I have a vague idea I get muddled and can’t focus because my mind gets lost in the what ifs and what abouts that I might work in later. I work better moving forward with as clear a vision as I can get sorted in my mind.

The thought of cycling back over the story forever adding little bits and pieces, and inspecting my work retrospectively feels incongruous to any progress so I have baulked at moving forward until I get some things straight in my mind. Yes, I’ll have to go back over my work continuously as I keep writing but I want to do it in such a way that I’m present with where I’m at in the story telling. Chunking together bits and pieces out of sync with their place in the narrative has felt disjointed when I’ve tried that approach before. Writing as I am now chronologically with the bones of the narrative at my side to refer to as a map feels right. I feel like I’m on an adventure because there’s a large unknown element in the writing of it, but I also feel like I know the way.

Pausing to go over my research and add to has opened up the structure creating a narrative that moves through the story in parts much better than I had roughed out to begin with. Revisiting my research with fresh eyes has introduced a new depth to the protagonist who has gone from being a sketchy character in parts to a complex individual who I hope to do justice to by documenting their struggle with the human condition.

I’m learning a lot. I have notes to write in the chapter outlines, story points to add, and new layers of dimension to add to my protagonist. The time researching has been very helpful.

Balance, routine and going with the flow

Tanya V 21 February 2021

Taking time away from the spurt of writing that I had done provided perspective on where I’m at. Reading back over what I had worked on in the space of a short week left me feeling good. It was difficult to keep up the pace that I had been working at, it wasn’t sustainable for keeping in mind the big picture of what I’m doing. No doubt though, it was good to get through a chunk of writing – I got a lot of work done in those few days. It’ll have to be refined and edited further but it’s good for now, and because I got so much done I can see better what I’m establishing in regard to both the project and process.

It was difficult to come to terms with the gap that I created by stopping for a few days. I felt like a failure but realise that I should leave the drama for the novel and accept that I can only keep up an intensity like that for stretches of a few days. Working like that had my mind swimming in words, and images, and ideas, and I was too close to everything to see clearly what I was doing. It had to stop, at least for some breathing space. Returning with fresh eyes was an intimidating idea because I’d stepped away when I was no longer able to see where I was at so when I stepped back in again to pick up where I left off, I expected to be disappointed.

When I took a step back from writing I struggled with guilt at the idea that I had failed because I couldn’t keep up a constant pace. I’m really annoyed now that I even let it bother me because it’s delusional to think that anything can be accomplished with mechanical regularity by a human being, especially a creative task. I got caught up in the notion that balance and consistency mean doing things without any variation; yet I know that theory and practice are two very separate things in reality.

Striking a balance is perhaps harder than establishing a routine. Balance with anything from minuscule amounts to gigantic proportions can be achieved so I’m left rolling my eyes at the headspace wasted over theorising a conceptual idea to apply to my writing practice. It’s a waste of my time – I have writing to do!

From this point on my focus is shifting to what I have to do rather than how to do it. I’ve discovered that part of ‘going with the flow’ of creativity is feeling it not forcing it.