5th chapter – Journey Of A Novel

NQR

Tanya V 26 March 2022

Writing the 2nd draft is going well. I have finished chapter four now. Chapter three before that was easy, it has been my favourite chapter to write the 1st time around and I really enjoyed revisiting it.

Chapter four was harder to work my way through, it had been a lot harder to write and I had left it half baked. This, it seems, will be the flow for writing the 2nd draft with some chapters needing a whole lot more attention than others.

To finish chapter four I cut out pieces and moved them to include in chapter five, other parts I just deleted. When I write the 3rd draft of the novel chapter five will need further attention – it just hasn’t come out as I want it to. Not quite right is the feeling that I get when I read back over. I do like what I have written, it reads well, the elements that I wanted the chapter to include are there but it is missing something, or has too much of something, or, I don’t know … it can be better.

For chapter five and six I expect to have similar challenges with clarity for myself in writing those sections. To get the work out, down and done when writing the 1st draft I moved through some chapters and left them in a state of incompleteness knowing that I would be coming back for a 2nd pass, 3rd pass, and I don’t know how many more. These revisits though have left me forewarned and forearmed as I come back to revisit them with the angst gone that I had when writing them.

Eye-roll, sigh, swear at the computer, repeat

Tanya V 20 July 2021

My Pollyanna gene is failing to have an affect on the rest of my physiology. Usually it over-rides or at least ambushes any Cassandra-esque tendencies, but not this week. I have fallen off the writing wagon with a spectacular crash. There’s been bumps and dips in the road caused by outside forces. The biggest roadblock has been technology – my computer keeps freezing and I lose the flow, then I get side-tracked searching for a solution that eats up my writing time. MS word has become obsolete demanding payment, which was bound to happen, but before I fully grasped this I tried to make it all work. Poor Billy G must need some extra change to pay for his divorce, I’m sure he can sort it out without my funds. Thankfully I’ve come to realise that Libre office is a writer’s best friend.

I’ve also had hard drive issues and internet connection problems and I’m sure that I’m not the only one to have these hiccups and the twitching eye that comes along with it all. None of these issues are life threatening or earth shattering but they have relentlessly and repeatedly followed on from one another seemingly working together with tag team precision. It’s been frustrating to say the least.

The past week or so has taught me a lot at the expense of my writing time including how to better recognise time wasting for the sake of an outcome that’s just not going to happen, and that hissing at the computer doesn’t make it work but does make me feel a little better.

Yes I know that I can walk away from the computer and write in a notebook, and I did, but I still have to type it up eventually. Even with this as a solution personally I prefer the cut and paste on the fly technique that’s available to me when using a computer for writing.

One good thing (hello, perhaps my Pollyanna gene is in tact), I thought for nearly a week that I was up to chapter five when I am up to chapter six and over half way done with writing it.

All the stops and starts and unfulfilled writing scheduling has left me very keen to get into it and claim my writing time back. I want to sit and write and only think about my writing and get lost in the world of my imagination. I’m used to distractions being of my own making so it has been a rude shock to have them come from elsewhere and a valuable lesson in wasting precious time when I could be writing.

Achieving the improbable

Tanya V 8 June 2021

At just under 5000 words I’ve finished my first draft of chapter five. It was a doozy. It had me nearly whipped a few times, but I nailed it, I’m done, it’s in the can. For now anyway. Chapter five is my problem child, or chapter as the case may be. It will need more attention than the other chapters I’ve finished the first draft for so far. Chapter five raises the stacks for my protagonist taking the narrative in a new direction, and for the first time in the story a direction with no destination in mind for the protagonist. That makes chapter five more than a turning point but a marker for development of person and tale being told. This chapter holds story elements that many will be familiar with so I want to honour what the many and varied may identify with within it while also taking the ideals within and discarding them in favour of simple storytelling about a person trying to find their place in the world.

The origin story that I have based the story on is an epic tale but I’ve reassigned the big happenings to short time spans giving it what I hope is a whimsical and fantastical feel. I’ll have to see how it reads when done in full and until then keep pushing forwards.

Along with chapter five needing future attention chapter one will also need to be reworked. I don’t plan to change a lot but will revisit it when done with a view to honouring who the protagonist becomes with further insights to where they came from. When writing chapter one I was aware that I was beginning a story about a character that I didn’t understand fully and cannot until I am done writing the whole novel, for this reason I’m expecting to add, change or edit out some of the first draft of chapter one. I have to push through to the end to complete chapter one last.

Next is chapter six with the protagonist out in the world again forging through life and circumstance. I have some writing toward chapter six that I have written over the years but it’s sketchy at best with an indefinite storyline. I’ll have to do some thinking on the working parts to select the best narrative devices to drive the story into the next part. Chapter six is a pathway into the beyond for my protagonist, I’ll do my best create a gateway to a new world that will do their story justice.

Draining the swamp

Tanya V 7 June 2021

I’ve waded through the soggy marshland of pretty words from times past to copy, paste and delete another 1000 or so. The word count is nearing 3000 words that are keepers for the first draft of chapter five with the backlog that I’m squelching through whittled down to 12500 words. At times I’m overwhelmed by the excess that I’ve written over the years and the task that this has created in the present. Words have bogged me down and I’m swamped, but enough with that metaphor…

As I work through the characters are transforming from who I thought they were with revealing glimpses at who they may become as the story unfolds. I’ve found heartache and hidden motivations; I’ve stumbled into broken dreams and disillusions; it’s been very revealing. The words that I’d originally crafted into fragments of narrative came together to reveal a different story that has left me curious about my characters. They are a fragile bunch who are all wrapped up in their own perceptions, wanting to be heard, wanting to be loved, wanting to be happy.

Even though the setting touches on fantasy I can’t make it so fantastical that they can all have their needs met so heartache will prevail for most, perhaps for all – if so, that will almost make it a biography.

The largest parts that I have been cutting are bravado, that is the writing about the character’s public faces and acts towards others. Removing the outside perspective is bringing me closer to my characters where I can better observe them. The parts that I’ve kept show the soft underbelly of the characters, who they are and how they came to be the way that they are. Motivation is key after all, well for me anyway, I need to understand why people do the things that they do to best capture the small things that mean so much.

My intention of writing this story was to show one person’s story but I find that I cannot write about one person without including the stories of all involved. To write it any other way would to be to surround my protagonist with two dimensional characters who would ultimately belittle the protagonist’s struggle; all people struggle in life.

Previously I had worried about creating the right setting and authentically capturing the landscape but increasingly I’m coming to realise that the story itself is the landscape and that the characters create the setting.

Beyond words

Tanya V 18 May 2021

The jumble of words that I had written over the past few years had confused me enough to need a timeout. Time to reflect, time to reassess, time to understand what I was trying to achieve with the parts of chapter five that I had written with large gaps in between each writing session. The gaps in time are very obvious with a different feel to each piece. How to best use what I had and decipher something coherent was very challenging and I didn’t know how to get started.

Then I had an epiphany. I went to one of my storytelling happy places, a place beyond words, beyond characters, beyond setting and out of structure. A place that I enthusiastically discuss with any who will geek out with me about a book read or film watched, or even a painting. Symbolism! Words are secondary to what we can convey without them. It took me a while to shake off the cycling over of ideas and words that I had written down to go beyond to what it’s all about.

I’ve embraced the polarities of light and dark to ease into chapter five and it has worked, I’ve managed to let go of my angst over details and settle into the bigger picture. The symbolism that I am exploring and including is more than just light and dark, but I need to keep it simple to work through the dizzying cloud of words that have clogged up my vision. The other symbolic elements that I want to work in will come as I write through the highlights and shadows.

I came to the realisation of what I needed to do when I couldn’t sleep, I have a habit of thinking through my story when I can’t sleep to stop the monkey mind from keeping me awake. Lately I’d avoided this practise because I felt defeated by all the words and neglected the fact that for me thinking about it as a sleepy preoccupation leaves no room for words. A bit of a downside though is that I can’t sleep when I get in the flow of the story and so sit up into the night tapping away at my computer feeling tired but also satisfied. At the same time because I am tired I can only work for so long before I have to stop which gives me time and space to reflect before I write again. At times when I write wide awake and clear-headed, I write for so long that I feel detached from the process and resentful of it, when I have shorter sessions I have better momentum.

I’ve made a dent in the first draft of chapter five and although I have only just begun to write it but I have covered a lot more ground with the 1000 or so words that I’ve kept than I have in the past couple of weeks.

Writing in reverse

Tanya V 10 May 2021

Chapter five, first draft has had me muddling through and scratching my head so far. This chapter includes events that cause my protagonist to step into the unknown with no direction in mind. Previously the risks that they took were aimed at an outcome but within chapter five things do not work out, direction is lost, and rational thinking gives way to emotion. How this plays out is what I have to decide. When rationality is lost that does not necessarily mean that someone is irrational, when emotions drive a decision that does not mean that the decision is illogical. Tempering reason and emotion into human expression is the tricky part here. The turning of events that this chapter culminates in effects a few of the characters including the protagonist so I have a situation to realise that involves diverse motivations.

I am undecided as yet about how exactly this chapter will read. I’m tempted to capture a ‘what just happened there?’ feel as can happen to any of us when swept up in emotional situations. I’ve been musing on making it a something-for-everyone section where the weight of circumstances is spread evenly amongst the characters so all ‘sides’ can be experienced. Also, I’ve been mixing and matching what I have written over time in the past trying to determine where the strength of the writing lies then to edit the story into being accordingly.

3000 words have been culled so far and the narrative organised from the overlapping writings from the past. There is still just under 13000 in the file that is chapter five, draft one so far meaning that another 5000 plus words need to be dispensed with to make the chapter a manageable 5000 words. Getting rid of sections of writing has taken time as I have shifted them about in the file copying and pasting to see how they read in part in different positions within the story. Some have been repetitive so to select and delete was the obvious answer, others captured a feel very different from the majority of the words that I intend to keep. Click and drag to select then delete, save to update and move on; that’s the rhythm that set in as I have puzzled my way through the bulk of writing coming and going from the work in an effort to keep a fresh perspective. With less words I have a clearer view of what I’m working with, but I still am struggling with the feel and details of the chapter. There’s enough to work with to select a focal point, I have enough to chop and change and skew things to present the story in different ways.

The whittling down of words feels like writing in reverse, to bring it all together I think that I’ll have to get the word count down to 4000 words at most then write new words to solidify the chapter as one piece.

Slow and steady is the winning pace

Tanya V 29 April 2021

My role has changed from writer to editor with over 16000 words written towards the chapter that I’m working on. With a 5000 word wordcount being my goal for each chapter I have quite a bit of work to do. This large word count of 16000 words has been accumulated over the past 10 plus years, it is not in order, is not all in the same mood or tone, or even following exactly the same narrative. I expect to throw away a lot of sections, some I may use in the preceding or following chapters. Sifting through this collection of pieces that make up the chapter content to date has been a big task.

Reading through my past writing I have read sections I’d forgotten that I’d written, which has been a nice surprise at times. The volume of words read together capture my changing attitude towards, and hopes for, the novel over the years that I have been writing it.

Having such a variety of pieces all on the same part provides me with different perspectives that I hope to work together to create depth in the narrative at this point of the story – In writing so much I’ve given myself choices, which I hadn’t planned on doing. There has been a complete turn around on the protagonist’s attitude in some parts, and relationships between the characters have varied greatly over time. My plan of attack is to take the best of it all and make it one piece.

I’ve read through what I have then stepped back to digest it, then read it again. Slowly I am gaining an image of the happenings that I can edit these pieces into being, with new writing too of course. With so much writing to work with I plan to continue to read and reread it while gradually editing it into a whole.

The fact that I had written so many words seemed like such a big plus when I first realised but since I have begun working through the work, I am frustrated that I don’t have a clearer picture in mind. Having so many words it seems logical that I would be familiar with this section and ready to bang it out without too much effort. The more that I work through the words though the more I realise that I kept writing and rewriting to address my lack of clarity.

Slow and steady is the winning pace! I have a rough sketch of a first draft of my novel with nine chapters in mind so with this being chapter five I’m almost past the halfway mark. I will work through this chapter making it work as a first draft as best I can, then it should be down hill to the end from there.

Chapter four first draft – Done!

Tanya V 23 April 2021

It reads well, I made the transition that I wanted to in the narrative taking my protagonist on a journey of physical struggle that confirms their mental resolve to keep going in the direction that they chose. Chapter four took the protagonist on a journey through the world where they travelled alone creating a parallel inward journey.

Other characters need to be introduced now. Chapter four had the introduction of one new character, but it was a meeting of few words. Chapter five will have the introduction of some major players in the narrative moving forward into the story, so chapter four was just a warm-up exercise of what chapter five will present as challenges.

The protagonist begins chapter five full of hope, ready to embrace change and harbouring a naivete that is a left over from their past. For the protagonist chapter five is meant to be the happily ever after chapter where they can settle into life, but life has other plans.

The characters that the protagonist comes to know in chapter five challenge their way of thinking and perspective, and conversely the protagonist challenges those that they meet. All these differences are a mark of each individual’s character causing all concerned to dig their heels in. A lot will unfold, important things will happen, but I want to write it as matter-o-fact. Big things happen in life for all of us and a lot of the time it’s not until later that we realise the significance of happenings in our lives. That’s what chapter five is about, big decisions, big reactions, big moves. Responses and reactions in life tell us about who we are and show us who those around us are. Important events can lift a veil that we didn’t know was there and this is the underlying driver in chapter five.

Some of the big events may spill over into chapter six, the writing of this chapter will reveal if I need to spread out the narrative to cover more ground; I certainly don’t want to cram things into one chapter for convenience. The story needs room to breathe and unfold.

The next few chapters I have written parts of in the past and I will work these pieces of writing in with new work as I go. Working in this way is slow at times as I stop and start to accommodate what I want to include along with what I newly create. It’s helpful for me to keep this in mind as the slow progress can be hard to push through at times but I have found the results, being how much work I get done, worth it.