Journey Of A Novel

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frustrations

From telling to showing and beyond

Tanya V 22 August 2021

My original outline of chapters was nine in total, I now expect to write eleven at least, perhaps more. The extra breathing space that I was looking for in the process of writing and the clearer vision of the story that I’m telling, I have found in doing the work. More time and focus would be even better but hey, I’m just learning when it comes to writing a book.

Chapter eight is coming into view along with strengthening themes. With the conclusion of the novel coming into sight the story ground that has been covered is marked with the imprints of themes that have emerged in the wake of the protagonist’s movement throughout. Factoring in the themes that over arc the narrative was one of the considerations that I circled over in my mind for years. I wanted to figure out how to do justice to the themes and how to capture these ideas with imagery; when sitting down to write I’d get hung up on an idealised version of the outcome. Working through each chapter in turn, as I have for this first draft, has taken away the frozen moments where I sat awaiting the perfect words that would serve the story on every level from telling to showing and beyond.

The closer I get to the end the more I think about the earlier chapters. I want to revisit them and bring them into line with the story that my novel has become. Even with this though I still don’t have a clear vision of how it will end, or even the lead up to the end. The bones of the story are there but the details will be revealed to me when I write them.

For most of the story the protagonist has travelled into the unknown with little direction and few people met along the way. The last chapters veer from this course driven by a new found certainty that the protagonist has connected with. The journey through the pages has no extra information on the path that should be followed but the experiences from preceding chapters have brought to light things previously hidden as choices available. There is still a way to go but I am coming full circle in my thinking about the narrative and again wanting to make it funny, make it fun, make it real.

The story type is the hero’s journey formula which brings together the beginning and end as it circles back on itself.

At the beginning I wondered how I could add humour.

At the beginning the story was about someone who knew themselves and their world, or thought that they did. Nearing the end, they have begun to recognise themselves again. The humour that I want to use is to capture the sense of fun that comes with knowing who you are and laughing because something is funny even when no-one else thinks so.

Observations

Tanya V 10 August 2021

Chapter seven is 4000 plus words done of the 5000 words I’ve planned to write, so the finish line is in sight. This chapter has always been a rough sketch in my mind that lacked the narrative articulation of some previous parts that I’ve worked through. Up until this chapter the protagonist has been experiencing gradual growth and development within themselves, and has been unaware of the fundamental change that this causes within them. Chapter seven is the character becoming aware of the change that is happening and recognising that they can make choices to participate in this change. I’m trying to capture the realisation that I expect everyone goes through at some point when they understand that something big is happening within them that they can’t explain or reference but only observe as a point of change.

I have found this difficult to write; when I tried to push through by writing more and more I became frustrated so I stepped back from the keyboard and took a lot of long walks where time and space allowed me to think through what the actual point of this chapter is. This chapter has caused me to stop and take stock of where I’m at and where I’m heading story-wise. The long walks have served their purpose by providing perspective. I walk and observe the world around me, myself within it, nature, the ‘vibe’ and step back from my thoughts to make room for what is beyond thought. I’ve managed to get out of my head by literally walking away from overthinking. This has facilitated descriptive writing that I have used to ‘set the scene’, provided real-time perspectives on people to consider when writing character, and been helpful for processing the world through new eyes which I require of my protagonist to demonstrate transformation.

The protagonist has reached a point in the story where other people’s influence has fallen away as it never had before, leaving space in their mind beyond reacting and responding. They are able to be alone with themselves without being inundated by thoughts that are triggers instigated by others, to be alone with themselves, to connect with their potential and realise that they can exist without outside influence. I have come to understand that this chapter is not about testing boundaries as previous chapters have been in different ways, but about discovering boundaries set by and for the self.

I keep pushing to the front of my mind that I am writing the first draft so can refine, refine, improve and polish when the time comes, but I really want to lay a solid foundation for profound yet potentially elusive personal evolution of character in a realistic way. It’s part of the human experience, we all have our aha moments, many that happen without us identifying them until later in life. It can be a little voice, a shift in our way of being, ‘growing-up’, or a change that comes about because some old structure falls away leaving room for a self deep within who’d had no space for growth. Either way, in the present moment or in reflection we observe ourselves and that is what I’m attempting to write without it being a big moment that feels forced.

Eye-roll, sigh, swear at the computer, repeat

Tanya V 20 July 2021

My Pollyanna gene is failing to have an affect on the rest of my physiology. Usually it over-rides or at least ambushes any Cassandra-esque tendencies, but not this week. I have fallen off the writing wagon with a spectacular crash. There’s been bumps and dips in the road caused by outside forces. The biggest roadblock has been technology – my computer keeps freezing and I lose the flow, then I get side-tracked searching for a solution that eats up my writing time. MS word has become obsolete demanding payment, which was bound to happen, but before I fully grasped this I tried to make it all work. Poor Billy G must need some extra change to pay for his divorce, I’m sure he can sort it out without my funds. Thankfully I’ve come to realise that Libre office is a writer’s best friend.

I’ve also had hard drive issues and internet connection problems and I’m sure that I’m not the only one to have these hiccups and the twitching eye that comes along with it all. None of these issues are life threatening or earth shattering but they have relentlessly and repeatedly followed on from one another seemingly working together with tag team precision. It’s been frustrating to say the least.

The past week or so has taught me a lot at the expense of my writing time including how to better recognise time wasting for the sake of an outcome that’s just not going to happen, and that hissing at the computer doesn’t make it work but does make me feel a little better.

Yes I know that I can walk away from the computer and write in a notebook, and I did, but I still have to type it up eventually. Even with this as a solution personally I prefer the cut and paste on the fly technique that’s available to me when using a computer for writing.

One good thing (hello, perhaps my Pollyanna gene is in tact), I thought for nearly a week that I was up to chapter five when I am up to chapter six and over half way done with writing it.

All the stops and starts and unfulfilled writing scheduling has left me very keen to get into it and claim my writing time back. I want to sit and write and only think about my writing and get lost in the world of my imagination. I’m used to distractions being of my own making so it has been a rude shock to have them come from elsewhere and a valuable lesson in wasting precious time when I could be writing.