motivation

Draining the swamp

I’ve waded through the soggy marshland of pretty words from times past to copy, paste and delete another 1000 or so. The word count is nearing 3000 words that are keepers for the first draft of chapter five with the backlog that I’m squelching through whittled down to 12500 words. At times I’m overwhelmed by the excess that I’ve written over the years and the task that this has created in the present. Words have bogged me down and I’m swamped, but enough with that metaphor…

As I work through the characters are transforming from who I thought they were with revealing glimpses at who they may become as the story unfolds. I’ve found heartache and hidden motivations; I’ve stumbled into broken dreams and disillusions; it’s been very revealing. The words that I’d originally crafted into fragments of narrative came together to reveal a different story that has left me curious about my characters. They are a fragile bunch who are all wrapped up in their own perceptions, wanting to be heard, wanting to be loved, wanting to be happy.

Even though the setting touches on fantasy I can’t make it so fantastical that they can all have their needs met so heartache will prevail for most, perhaps for all – if so, that will almost make it a biography.

The largest parts that I have been cutting are bravado, that is the writing about the character’s public faces and acts towards others. Removing the outside perspective is bringing me closer to my characters where I can better observe them. The parts that I’ve kept show the soft underbelly of the characters, who they are and how they came to be the way that they are. Motivation is key after all, well for me anyway, I need to understand why people do the things that they do to best capture the small things that mean so much.

My intention of writing this story was to show one person’s story but I find that I cannot write about one person without including the stories of all involved. To write it any other way would to be to surround my protagonist with two dimensional characters who would ultimately belittle the protagonist’s struggle; all people struggle in life.

Previously I had worried about creating the right setting and authentically capturing the landscape but increasingly I’m coming to realise that the story itself is the landscape and that the characters create the setting.

A wee epiphany

I dropped the ball there for a few days but not for lack of trying to keep it in play. No excuses, just the facts, I’ve been busy with other things. Time for writing has become sparse, it is not non-existent though. I have written, I’ve crossed the halfway mark in chapter four nearing 3000 words. The pressure of less time made my last sitting to write seem easier than the ones before. In the meantime my challenges writing this chapter have been playing on my mind causing me to have a wee epiphany. I kept cycling over where I was up to and what I had written and kept thinking that I had missed something. Then it came to me. Motivation, my protagonist’s drive that is beyond words. The unspoken subtext, thoughts, comparisons, and the self-referencing that all of us experience, that forces our hand in life. Why does anybody do anything? Because they can is a likely answer but there are many other unfathomable reasons as to why choices are made. Personal, subconscious and determined by an individual’s origins.

With this in mind I went back over what I had written in chapter four to date and added symbolism, imagery and small happenings that addressed ‘the why’ or motivation in an indirect way. The subtext is as important as the text.

I didn’t add big sections or seek to make the profound out of the simple. I wanted to weave an extra thread through the fabric of the story to bring it all together as a whole piece. My intention was to stick with the ‘less is more’ ethos but it did need a little more.

A new character has been introduced to the story and the protagonist which is a turning point that foreshadows what is to come. Writing that I had done previously on this moment of meeting has worked in nicely with what I have newly written in. Leading up to this new character has taken the protagonist, along with my imagination, into a new realm of the story. The gears are shifting in my creative process.

The next few chapters have large sections already written that I will pull apart to re-edit in with new work. This is playing on my mind as a distraction; anticipating what is to come detracts from where I am at. Knowing this is helpful to acknowledge when I am distracted jumping ahead with ideas and maybes instead of being focused.

So back to keeping the ball in play.

I’ve got to keep my mind on the ball and my eye on the game, or something like that.